Welcome (Figleaf’s) Real Adult Sex
I was immediately attracted to the name “Real Adult Sex”; after all, that’s what we’re trying to do here at Comstock Films, depict adult enjoying sex the way it happens in our real adult world, rather than the bizarre adolescent fantasies of aspiration and acquisition that are the stock and trade of pornography.
Having long labored in pursuit of this vision of a new way that sex and the moving image might merge, the sex-blog culture is very encouraging. More and more everyday people have the opportunity, through sex blogs, to see and share sex as they experience it in their own lives, to see and share how sex really is, and to learn that pornography’s rather juvenile concept of sexuality (that they already know doesn’t represent their own sex lives) doesn’t represent the sex lives of the rest of the world either.
Ten years ago this level of honest exchange was risky at best; unless you live in San Francisco talking about how much you like eating out your husband’s asshole is generally not cocktail party conversation. Swingers and other “alternative” types might have chance to find out what “regular” folks were up to, but your average suburban soccermom or lawn-mowing, Weber Kettle BBQ’ing dad had to make do with what they read in Redbook or Esquire - a rather homogenized and sanitized version of what’s going on in America’s bedrooms to say the least!
Not surprisingly it was “alternative folks” who first seized upon the power of the internet to communicate with each other. Some of you might even remember places like Lifestyle.com or the EnglishPlace.com BBS. Okay fine, sex freaks and afficianados chatting up and hooking up. Then there was the sudden rise (and almost instant commercialization) of the real amateur exhibitionist Web site (from which comes 53% of the inspiration for Comstock Films). But it is the sex blog that finally brings sex back where and how most of us experience it: in private, with the same person we slept with last night, with the same person we expect (hope?) to sleep with for the rest of our lives.
Bloggers like El or HousewyfeWithBenefits aren’t writing about the kind of sex they wish they could have – they’re writing about the sex they do have, they’re writing about sex the way it happens in real life between real people. They’re not looking to promote themselves or their work (like yours truly), they’re not looking to justify or explain their unusual sex practices, they write simply to celebrate that they like to fuck, that they are adults lustily enjoying one of the great pleasures of being an adult.
When you think about it, these women’s blogs are remarkably subversive, destablizing even. We have a sense of how to respond to a sex-radical’s blog, “Yes, you’re a sex-radical. And even if I don’t quite get it, I acknowledge that you have a right to be yourself and to enjoy whatever sort of consentual relations you want, with as many other adults as you want. It’s (for the time being) a free country.”
Fine. Good. Our openminded and affirming world stays intact. But what do you say when a woman simply tells you ” No, I’m not a porn star or a sexworker; I’m not a radical or an activist. But I do have secret that I want to share with you, and that secret is I can’t get enough of my husband’s cock, I can’t get enough of him fucking me. And I want you to know this about me.” That sort of fucks up the world, doesn’t it? That’s not porn spinning half-baked fantasies about silicone-enhanced blondes and red sports cars, and it’s not Cosmo giving you “5 Killer Moves You Can Try Tonight!”. It’s just real people, real life, and really good sex. And I don’t think it gets any hotter (or more wholesome) that that!
-T.C.
June 2nd, 2005 at 8:05 pm
“When you think about it, these women’s blogs are remarkably subversive, destablizing even.”
Yes, yes, yes!! Women’s sexblogs have huge radical potential because they–finally!—give each woman a place where she can speak her own truths in her own voice, unfiltered and unedited by men or by social expectations or by cultural norms.
The phenomenon of women sexblogging is a huge force for change towards true sexual equality—which does NOT mean sexual sameness, but which DOES value and celebrate sexual expression in its countless forms.
I’m endlessly proud to be a small part of this revolution-in-progress.
DTG xxoo
Pussy Talk
June 3rd, 2005 at 4:28 pm
First of all thanks for the headline introduction!
Next, I remember reading about a study a few years ago that at least inadvertently revealed that when women can answer questions about sex anonymously their answers tend to be a lot more complete than if they felt they were under observation. (When I say it may have been inadvertent I mean I’m not sure the researchers were probing for those results.)
Anyway, to that extent I think the advent of blogging, with its combination of relatively strong anonymity with possibly wide readership really does make a difference.
Finally, I’m really happy that you’re doing what you’re doing. Like Ell and too many other people it’s extremely tedious trying to find people making porn anyone with a brain could reasonably enjoy. I still think there’s at least a solid handful out there, but with somewhere from a hundred thousand and a million nominal sex sites in the world (estimates vary radically and most of these are dead and/or referrer sites) they’re harder to find than pearls in the landfill behind a seafood factory.
June 5th, 2005 at 8:31 pm
I agree wholeheartedly with what you say about Housewyfe and Ell and others like Virgin Slut, DTG, Freya, Bliatz, Red, Tieme-n-spankme - just to name a few!
Personally I would much rather read about real life sex than boring porn scenarios.
June 11th, 2005 at 8:24 am
“Women’s sexblogs have huge radical potential because they–finally!—give each woman a place where she can speak her own truths in her own voice, unfiltered and unedited by men or by social expectations or by cultural norms.”
Yes, yes!! I am so happy to have so recently discovered this…and other people writing about it, giving words to what I’ve only dimly perceived.
March 23rd, 2006 at 5:58 am
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