Remembering Oregon’s Ballot Measure Nine
Watching the sodomy debate on the floor of the Texas legislature in Molly Ivans’ DILDO DIARIES reminded of me of something I wrote back in 1994, shortly after the defeat of Oregon’s Ballot Measure Nine. At the time it was intended as parody:
Dear Friends,
First I’d like to tell you how proud I am of all of us for the work we did in support of Measure Nine. Many of you may be feeling discouraged that the Measure was not passed, but there is much to be proud of. The Measure was carried by a majority of Oregon’s counties, and the over all margin of defeat shows that we are not that far from putting Oregon back on the road to moral sanity. Still, there is much work ahead of us. Opponents of Measure Nine have shown they can muster a great deal of out-of-state support and money from areas such as New York and San Francisco. Our efforts in the future will have to be ready to match that money with the determination that comes from moral righteousness. We must not fall back. Both momentum and God are on our side.
Many who voted against Measure Nine did so because they mistakenly perceived it as an attack on homosexuals, rather than on behavior. We must blame ourselves for this. For in an effort to conform to some standard of decency, we failed to graphically address the acts that a Judeo-Christian society must find objectionable, regardless of the gender of the people involved. With that in mind, I’d like to put forward what I believe should be our next measure placed on the ballot in Oregon.
The Constitution of the State of Oregon shall be amended so as to declare that all sexual acts other than coitus (penile-vaginal sex) between married couples are immoral, unnatural, and perverse and in so doing, bar the use of state funds or facilities to support any persons or organizations that promote, condone, encourage, or participate in said acts. Said perverse acts shall include, but not be limited to:
I. Oral-Genital Contact:
Defined as contact with the mouth or face of one person with genital region of another person, including the abdomen below the navel, thighs, hips, buttocks, penis and vagina.
II. Anal Contact.
Defined as: All contact between the anus of one person with any part of the body of another person, with the exception of contact between a wife’s anus and her husband’s scrotum during coitus in the missionary or woman-superior position.
III. Excessive Manual-Genital Contact. Defined as:
A. All manual-genital contact between persons of the same sex.
B. All manual-genital contact between unmarried persons of different sexes
C. All manual-genital contact between married persons in excess of that which is necessary to facilitate coitus:
1. A wife may manually stimulate her husband’s penis until an erection of sufficient firmness for penetration is achieved.
2. A husband may manually stimulate his wife’s vagina until sufficient lubrication to allow penetration is achieved.
3. A woman who is unable to achieve orgasm though coitus alone may, with a notarized letter from her physician, receive a waiver allowing her husband to manually stimulate her clitoris during coitus.
IV. The use of other body areas, such as the crook of the knee and elbow or the space between a woman’s breasts for stimulation of the penis.
V. Oral contact with the areola and nipple of a man, or with the areola or nipple of a woman except by her own infant (a child under eighteen months of age) while she is lactating.
I believe that this will do much to undermine the argument that our intention is to discriminate against homosexuals while at the same time putting forth a moral agenda consistent with the principles on which this country was founded.




















February 16th, 2007 at 6:13 pm
Soothsayer!