So last night was the first time I’ve gotten up in front of a bunch of people and said, “Hello, my name is Tony Comstock, and I’m a filmmaker.” Actually, it wasn’t. I did get up in front of a bunch of people, but some else introduced me. I’m not even sure I said “Hello” before launching into my thing. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

In case you’ve been living under a rock, last night was the debut installment of The New York Perverts’ Saloon at a venerably old performance space in Williamsburg called Galapagos.

The idea for a public reading was cooked up about two months ago when Viviane hosted a gathering of about 15 people who shared nothing in common, save the fact that they’re New Yorkers, and they keep sex blogs. I said “sure, why not” not thinking that anything would come of it. (Word to the wise, if Dacia says “You know, we ought to…” clear some space on your calender.)

The show was great. We had a wonderful Emcee in the person of Desiree Burch, and frankly by intermission I was a little worried. The first half of the show featured Dacia, Lex and Tess, plus a guest appearance by Jane, and was filled with tales of orgies, and threesomes and Jackson Pollack jism spectacles, and I wasn’t sure if my earnest, but possibly mopey sounding reflections the dearth of films that frankly address sex as joyous part of the human experience might not fit into the evening.

Not to worry. Cherry Bomb was first up after the intermission, delivering a caustic screed on the joys of spending half an hour helping someone choose lube and sex toys, only to be treated to a vague condescension from her at the cash register. Yes, it’s true. Sometimes it’s hard to get people to take you seriously if you make a living out of sexual pleasure. And sometimes that’s annoying. Sometimes it hurts. The stage was perfectly set for me to read from my essay More Grumpy Old Men.

I think it went well, but I couldn’t say for sure. Although I rather enjoy public speaking, I don’t do it often enough to feel at ease with it, so every time feels a bit like jumping off a high rock into water – exhilarating, but over before you really have a chance to think about what’s happening. There was some laughter (the right kind, I think) and afterward a couple of friends told me they got choked up, which is good, because I get choked up everytime I read it too.

After me came Chelsea Girl reading from her post “feral” and looking vaguely feral herself, then a loopy reading from Jefferson, and then the Plain-bellied Sneetch made the place get really quite giving a detailed description of the first time a woman ever gave him an anal orgasm. I could feel assholes puckering all around me, but not mine. I know just what he was talking about. Then Selena took us home with a back room, bisexual blowjob orgy.

So that was the first, but hopefully not last installment of The New York Perverts Saloon. I’d do it again in a minute, except I don’t know what I might read about. Peggy and I haven’t been to an orgy in years and I don’t think I want to be “that guy who rants about not having his sex films taken seriously”. (That’s what I have this blog for!) Maybe I have to start getting into creative masturbation. I just found out there’s a huge online community for Fleshlight modification enthusiasts!

A poster, a press-release – this blog-reading things has gone from being a lark of an idea at an informal Manhattan gathering to seeming like something real. (A good poster and a few pithy bios will do that, you know.) And I’m not embarrassed to say I’m gosh darned excited to be a part of it!

These people are a part of it too:

Audacia Ray
Audacia Ray is a New Yorker, writer, sex worker rights advocate, alternative model, safer sex educator and intrepid pervert. Her personal essays have appeared in Everything You Know About Sex is Wrong and First-Timers: True Stories of Lesbian Awakening. She is executive editor of the Utne Independent Press Award winning $pread magazine, edits porn website reviews at SugarClick.com, and was named #3 on Fleshbot’s Top Ten Hotties of 2005.
Audacia blogs and shows her boobs at Wakingvixen.com.

Chelsea Girl
Chelsea Girl lives in Chelsea, where she enjoys hobbies like writing, reading, fucking, and mocking, not necessarily in that order. Other enjoyments include her right to free assembly, oxygen, and full use of her opposable thumbs. Born under Scorpio in the Year of the Tiger, Chelsea is suffused with animal magnetism. Her turn-ons include long walks on the beach, cold nights by a blazing fire, leather pants, and cinematic decapitations. Her turn-offs include phony people, sociopaths, poor personal hygiene, and Vegans. Her blogs is Pretty Dumb Things.

Cherry Bomb
Born and raised in the hot hot heat of the dirty South, Cherry Bomb has been performing since she was just a young blossom. Conceived in the throes of a passionate one-night stand between bell hooks and RuPaul, writing and activism is built into her sordid DNA. These days you can catch her twirling tassels at The Slipper Room, and with Wasabassco Burlesque at The Living
Room Lounge in Brooklyn. Catch tales of her exploits at her blog, The Queen of Cream: http://cherrybombnyc.blogspot.com

Jefferson
When Jefferson met his future wife, he was a long-haired bisexual art student. She encouraged him to fly right, and for the next fifteen years, Jefferson lived a life of monogamous heterosexuality, complete with kids, pets and a house in the suburbs.

Until his wife announced she no longer cared to be married, thank you very much.

Jefferson’s blog, One Life, Take Two narrates his new life, balancing fatherhood, bisexuality and a parade of friends and lovers, many of whom participate in orgies he regularly hosts. It is the life of a parentand pervert in New York City.

Lex Konrad
Once upon a time Lex Konrad drove in the Paris-Dakar rally, crashed his car, scaled the sand dunes of the Sahara, threw snowballs atop the Atlas mountains and found definitive proof of the existence of a god. That was the longest day of his life. He now resides in Manhattan, where he lives with his lovely fiancée and writes sordid tales of the city’s nightlife.
Naked Loft Party.

Tess
Five years ago, Tess, author of Urban Gypsy, was your average neurotic wife, mother and accountant, living in not so quiet desperation in the suburbs. Then an old crush came into her life sparking a never quite extinguished passion for love and life. Tess, newly awakened, decided to blog about her passions, BDSM and whatever else maybe of interest. Urban Gypsy documents one woman’s journey in search of passion and more passion.

Viviane
Viviane is a research librarian and blogger. She thinks about sex all of the time, and blogging most of the time. She started the group blog Viviane’s Sex Carnival in 2005. She is also editor of TGP.com.

The Perverts’ Saloon came in to being this past February, when she decided she was tired of wanking off to words, and wanted to meet the bloggers in person. The bloggers who met bonded over boobies, blogging and a broken glass mirror. She likes computers and technology, red wine, men with a sense of humor, and long walks on the beach.

Previously I fretted publicly over the prospect of writing a 75 word bio for the blog reading I’ll be participating in, and was promptly (and rightly) chastised by one of the organizers that if I could find the words to fret on my blog, I could certainly find the words for the bio.

Fair enough. Here it is:

Tony Comstock came to New York City in the early 90’s as a photographer and writer, hoping for fame and fortune. Over the course of a dozen or so years, he managed to find a wife, a home, a family, and most recently, minor celebrity as a filmmaker. His 2006 release, “Damon and Hunter: Doing it Together” explores and celebrates the physical and emotional relationship of adult performers and real-life off screen couple Damon Demarco and Hunter James.

I have been fretting privately too, fretting about what I should read. I am not intimidated by public speaking, in fact I rather like it. But I am terrible at reading aloud. I can barely struggle through bedtime books for my children, let alone anything more dense. And my blog posts are not especially titillating either, so there’s the prospect of me stumbling through my own self-indulgent, not especially sexy writing while breaking into a sweat. Fun!

With the help of a friend I have managed to come up with three finalist. With the proviso that any of them would need a little re-writing to be read out of context, I invite you, dear readers, to offer your opinion on what I should inflict on the good people of Galapagos.

More Grumpy Old Men

Welcome Real Sex

The Porn Monster

And for any of you who missed it the first time

WHAT: NYC Perverts’ Saloon

WHEN: Monday, April 3rd - 8-10 pm

WHERE: Galapagos, 70 North 6th street, Williamsburg. L to Bedford Ave

WHO: A family of strangers are New York City’s Sex Bloggers

See you there!