“Fidelity”: Don’t Divorce… from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

Just last month Peggy and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary. Someday soon I hope to be able to make one our love and sex documentaries about a gay or lesbian couple that has been together as long or longer than Peggy and I have been together. And I hope that someday soon, commitment between gay and lesbian couples will be afforded the same respect and legal rights that commitment between straight couples is presently afforded.

Until then we stand in opposition to California’s Proposition 8, and all similar measures; and send our best wishes to those who are fighting to keep their families intact.

CAN I VOTE ON YOUR MARRIAGE?

That’s the question recently wed Newsweek writer what David J. Jefferson saw emblazened on a gay man’s t-shirt, and that’s how he sums up his feelings on the impending vote on Proposition 8 in California. If a mere 50% + 1 vote go in favor of Proposition 8, the California Constitution will be altered so as to invalidate marriages between same-sex couples.

If you take a moment to think about it, that’s rather remarkable. Breath-taking, really.

Our country was founded by religious and political radicals. They were keenly aware of the dangers of majority rule, and when we won our independence, they took pains to guard against these dangers in formulating our constitution. The founding fathers made the threshold for amending the US Constitution high as a buffer against the vagaries and manias that they knew will seize a society now and again.

But California, in its infinite wisdom, allows (potential) tinkering with it’s foundational documents whenever someone can muster enough signatures to get a Proposition on the ballot. It’s not hard to see the danger in this approach, well beyond marriage equality.

Which brings me to an short essay I wrote last year while fighting on behalf of ASHLEY & KISHA, “Community Standards Fail When Communities Fail.”

More after the jump:
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Reading Andrew Sullivan alternate between horror at John McCain naming of Sarah Palin as his VP, and anxiety over the possible Proposition 8, I am reminded of my first exchange with Sullivan, when I forwarded him my essay, “It’s Not About Procreation”, which became grist for his post “Theocons vs. Breeders”. He ended his post with this:

“I’m glad more and more heterosexuals are waking up to the theocon agenda.”

I took some exception to the “waking up” part. From where I’m sitting, it’s Sullivan who slept through the alarm. Below is the essay I wrote in response on Nov 21, 2006. Nearly two years later, with Paul Little convicted and John Stagliano charged,  and Sullivan married, revisiting the post seems timely. Read it after the cut:
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I’m sure everyone is as weary of politics as we are here at Comstock Films. But the fight’s not over. Yesterday, when I made our contribution to NoOnProp8.com I said, “I hope this isn’t too little too late.”

“No” said the woman taking down our information, “every penny counts!”

So, now that you’ve bought a DVD to stop Proposition 8, it’s time to head on over to CrashPadSeries.com, and buy a subscription, with all of today’s sales going to NoOnProp8.com.

The Crash Pad series is the brainchild of Shine Louis Houston. If you’ve seen our film MATT AND KHYM, you might remember seeing her name in the credits. I first worked with Shine in October of 2004 when I was out West doing preproduction for MATT AND KHYM and BILL AND DESIREE, and immediately knew she was someone who “got it.” My instincts were confirmed about a year later with the release of her first film, THE CRASH PAD.

Simply put, THE CRASH PAD is the only erotic film that Peggy and I have watched in the last several years that we haven’t turned off inside the first 15 minutes. In fact, we watched CRASH PAD front to back; and when it was over we were both charmed and turned on. Watching THE CRASH PAD made us feel good about ourselves, good about sex, and good about the work we do. It’s a smart, sexy, and sweet film, and it’s no surprise it’s played to enthusiastic audiences at film festivals worldwide.

So go. Now. Go. Support the fight against Prop 8. GO!

The good guys:

B.J. from California has given $56 to stop Proposition 8
V.R. from California has given $84 to stop Proposition 8
L.T. from Australia has given $28 to stop Proposition 8
M.S. from New York has given $56 to stop Proposition 8
M.H. from Georgia has given $28 to stop Proposition 8
R.W. from California has given $28 to stop Proposition 8
A.B. from Washington has given $28 to stop Proposition 8
M.S. from California has given $28 to stop Proposition 8
A.S from North Carolina has given $28 to stop Proposition 8
D.W. from Wisconsin has given $112 to stop Proposition 8
M.S. from Oregon has given $28 to stop Proposition 8
H.H. from California has given $28 top stop Proposition 8
M.D. from Washington has given $28 to stop Proposition 8
M.R. from California has given $56 to stop Proposition 8
A.D. from North Carolina has given $56 to stop Proposition 8
J.F. from Michigan has given $28 to stop Proposition 8
N.M. from New York has given $56 to stop Proposition 8
M.R. from New York has given $28 to stop Proposition 8
J.A. from New York has given $56 to stop Proposition 8
D.S. from Florida has given $28 to stop Proposition 8
K.R from Pennsylvania has given $28 to stop Proposition 8
S.M. from Michigan has given $28 to stop Proposition 8
C.S. from California has given $84 to stop Proposition 8
L.N. from California has given $28 to stop Proposition 8
J.G. from Illiniois has given $28 to stop Proposition 8
A.G. from Washington has given $28 to stop Proposition 8
A.C. from California has given $28 to stop Proposition 8
G.L from California has given $28 to stop Proposition 8
J.M. from Massecusetts has given $28 to stop Proposition 8
A.M. from California gave $56 to stop Proposition 8
S.J. from California gave $84 to stop Proposition 8
R.D. from California gave $28 to stop Proposition 8
E.J. from Washington gave $56 to stop Proposition 8
J.C. from California gave $140 to stop Proposition 8
D.B. from California gave $28 to stop Proposition 8
J.A. from California gave $28 to stop Proposition 8 (J.A. was 12 minutes late, but we’re counting him!)

It’s 6AM and I haven’t had my coffee yet, but that looks like $1596! Not exactly Apple’s $100K, but then we’re a slightly smaller organization.

On the eve of his nuptials, I sent conservative blogger Andrew Sullivan this bit of hard-won bit of wisdom:

“You’re nervous? Of course you are. You’re submitting your autonomy to the State in exchange for legal recognition of and protection of your relationship. You’re entering a contract to regard your beloved as family, a contract that (some day in your future) will supersede love and affection. You don’t really know what marriage is about until the day you have a fight that so bad the only reason you stay together is because you’re married.

“The storm will pass. You’ll both still be there, still married, and glad you are, and you’ll say “Oh, that’s what the big deal about this piece of paper is all about.”

“To regard your beloved as family.”  Think on that for a moment. Think about all the shit that’s gone down between you and your mother, your father, your sister, your brother, your children. Shit you’d never inflict on a friend; shit a friendship would never survive.

Most familial relationships are not voluntary. You don’t choose your parents. You may choose to have children, but you don’t choose who they are; they just are. You don’t choose your brothers or sister, or aunts and uncles and cousin.

But marriage is different, it’s a choice. Marriage is the legal and social mechanism by which we choose to turn our beloved from being an acquaintance into being our family, with all the privileges and responsibilities that entails. It is as profound an act of conscience as any person ever makes. And it is a fundamental liberty that must be protect for all people.

The Marriage-Bed-On-Fire Sale of the Year starts now. For the next 27 hours 100% of all sales go to NoOnProp8.com. So what are you waiting for? Go! Buy something!

UPDATE 8/28 9:21PM EDT

We are at $784 with just under 8 hours to go. We’d really like to be able to make a $1000 donation to NoOnProp8.com later tonight. Make a purchase now and help us get there!

I have had some thoughts about Loving v. Virginia, and why, as an issue of civil rights, the right to marry whom we chose is much closer to religious liberty than racial equality. The short version is that an accident of birth is not the same thing as an act of conscience, and the true mark of a tyrannical regime is one that persecutes its citizens on the basis of acts of conscience; in what they think, how they worship, and in whom they love.

I will save the long version for a later date. For now, here’s a list of the very kind people who are helping us get the word out about tomorrow’s fundraiser:

Ell’s Wilful Damage
The Goose and the Gander
Dramaphile
Red Rahl
AAGBlog
SlashPervert
Viviane’s Sex Carnival
Figleaf’s Real Adult Sex
Jen and Monkey at TheyBelongToUs
Fleshbot
Good Vibrations Online Magazine
Violet Blue’s TinyNibbles.com

If you are reading this and you have blog, or Facebook, or MySpace, or just a CC list for clever e-mail that you like to pass along, please help us get the word out about tomorrow’s fundraiser. The freedoms at stake in the California election are foundational. The freedom for each of us to follow our conscience without fear of government retribution lies at the very heart of what has made this country a beacon of liberty through out the world. If the government can tell us who we can and cannot marry, what’s to stop them from telling us what God we may or may not worship, or what we can and cannot say?

Tuesday, October 28. 100% of all sales to to NoOnProp8.com. Spread the word!

UPDATE 8/28 9:21PM EDT

We are at $784. We’d really like to be able to make a $1000 donation to NoOnProp8.com later tonight. Make a purchase now and help us get there!