Some few days ago, Chelsea Girl made a post to her Pretty Dumb Things entitled “mirror, mirror, against the wall” where she introduced the concept of ‘the fuckface’.
I have devoted no small measure of my creative and professional life to capturing the beauty I see in the fuckface, and so it was with great interest that I read GC’s take on her own fuckface; especially the horror she says she experiences when, in the midst of a good shag, she catches a glimpse of her own fuckface, or her imperfect body.
Over the next fews I wrote CG a note, then she wrote back, then I mowed the lawn and thought, then we exchanged another e-mail or two. In her last e-mail of the exchange CG said, “I think you should turn this email into a post”, so I am, and here it is:
Back in the late 90s, when Peggy and I were shooting the tests that became Comstock Films, we’d post to places on the internet where we thought sexually adventurous and libertine couples might be reading.Many of the responses were of the “and then we’ll film you, right?” variety, and a few “and then we’ll film you and then we’ll all fuck, right?”, but enough of the responses got what we were doing and were at least curious to find out more.
We’d invite these curious couples to our studio for a private viewing of films we had made with previous couples (our offer was no strings attached, no releases signed and no copies kept, but in fact all every couple we ever shot was happy to allow us to keep a copy of their love scene for us to show privately.)
More often than not, these couples would come through the door with Him leading Her; Him quite certain this was something they wanted to do, her more reticent.
But a funny thing would happen as they watch the footage of the couples that had come before them. Her would see these women – with their ache scars, or c-section scar, or small, saggy, baby chew breast, or ample thighs – completely lost in the delight of being pleasures, and completely delighted in having their pleasure, their fuckfaces captured for all time. Her would see awareness of it all bubble up through ecstasy, flash a brilliant smile across the woman’s face, and then dive back into the deep end of the pleasure pool.
And more often than not, by the end of the screening, Her was ready to be filmed, “So when can we do this?” she’d asked, often before I had even had a chance to hit rewind.
In particular one of those brilliant smiles stands out in my mind. It was the second couple we ever shot a test with – let’s call them Dan and Denise.
Dan and Denise were in their mid thirties, and while both of them were attractive by any measure, both of their bodies were far from flawless. Dan was virtually assless and had the beginings of a paunch. Denise had small, saggy, baby-chewed breasts (fried eggs, I think she said), and a hint of cellulite on her thighs.
This was of no concern to me. My only concern about them was that they be comfortable enough in front our our cameras for them to relax and enjoy each other, and perhaps even enjoy the thrill of being photographed. My only goal was that Peggy and I have a chance to experiement with coverage techniques that would allow me to capture footage that could later be edited into a naturalistic depiction of two people loving each other.
Denise’s awareness of being filmed bubbled up and broke into many smiles during their session, but the one that stands out happened right as Dan was fisting her (for the second time). She was on her hands and knees while Dan was being her, his fist churning away inside her. Denise was lost in it completely, eyes closed, calling grunting and calling out her husband’s name over and over “Oh Dan, oh Dan, oh Dan…”
In the midst of this, her eyes opened and she saw her fuckface in the mirrored headboard. She smiled at the rediculous ecstasy of it all, then her smile broke into a delighted laugh, Dan’s fist still churning away in her belly. Her laugh rose up and then dove headlong into the deep end of the pleasure pool. Her arms gave way and she was face down, ass up; completely lost again as Dan finished her off with his fist.
I know for a fact that Denise showed their film to many people, saggy boobs, celulite, fuckface, and all. I don’t think she ever felt the least bit self-conscious about letting people see that she did not have the sculpted, airbrushed body of a 19 year old girl. But I do know for a fact that she was delighted to let people see that she what a healthy, hearty, lusty woman she was, and what a beautiful, sexy film we had made with her and her husband.
